stertor

stertor

\STUR-ter\ , noun;

1.A heavy snoring sound.

 

Snoring is a problem that I am happy to report I do not suffer from, although my sympathies go out to those who my snoring keeps awake. They are the true victims here. I try explaining to girlfriends my snoring is solved with a simple remedy. All you need to do to stop a person from snoring is to clap once, loudly. This usually shocks the sleeping party from their heavy stertor and provides a respite from  the noise. 

If this does not suffice I simply request to be rolled over onto my side, a sure way to cease the sawing of logs. More than one girlfriend has taken this approach with gusto, and I've found myself on many occasions waking up on the floor, with an angry girlfriend peering over the side of the bed, a glimmer in her eye. 

"What did you do that for!" I shout groggily.

"You're right. Rolling you over works. You're not snoring anymore."