Turgid

turgid \TUR-jid\ , adjective:
1. Swollen, bloated, puffed up; as, "a turgid limb."
2. Swelling in style or language; bombastic, pompous; as, "a turgid style of speaking."

In every job there is a person who feels the need to speak at a level better suited for an airfield than an office. They don't realize their voice carries, and if they do, they find it wildly entertaining that when they begin to speak it causes people to spill coffee down the front of their shirt and look around for the source of the ruckus. I once worked with a woman whose laugh made you think she was chasing someone with an axe rather than exchanging small talk over the phone.

These types of people are not typically of meek stature. They are a turgid growth on office chairs. Chairs bravely taking the beating of their girth day by day, year by year. Much like we must take their verbo-nuclear assault on decent manners. Carry on brave souls. Carry on - and might I suggest a set of those little spongy noise retardants. The kind you stick your ears.