solecism

solecism

SOL-uh-siz-uhm \  , noun;

1. A breach of good manners or etiquette.

 

Standing in a line is one of America's strongest values. It has been ingrained in us from a young age, when we practiced lining up in front of the classroom door before being dismissed from school, or during fire drills so the teacher would be able to quickly and accurately account for all the children in order to be sure no child was distracted by picking their nose while the school fell around them in flames. You can imagine my surprise when I arrived in adulthood and found other people did not share the same respect for such a simple yet crucial aspect of our society.

 

I fell victim to a solecism while waiting at the customer service counter at my local grocery store. I had been waiting in line for nearly 12 minutes by that point, staring with great consternation at the back of a woman's head while she attempted to recollect her cats birthday for an 11th lottery ticket that was sure to be the big winner. 

 

This, coupled with the customer service representatives lack of enthusiasm for his job title, meant I was stuck in it for the long haul. I hunkered myself down for the duration but was delighted when a second employee stepped up to the adjacent cash register and called for the next in line, a title I proudly held but coveted by many.

 

I took an eager step toward the counter only to be nearly toppled by a tiny Grandmother with an agenda who had been standing behind me. She plopped her purse down on the counter and got right to business screaming something about the price of grapefruit or cat food, I am not sure which. 

 

It should be noted that I am a coward, and instead of stepping forward and explaining the purpose and function of lines - a formation ensuring we don't crash the desk like drunk, tottering linebackers, I simply said "That's not how lines work!" and stared intently at the floor as to avoid eye counter in case she found reason to visit the stink eye upon me.