yarely

yarely

\YAIR-lee\ , adveb;

1.With quickness or agility.

 

Yarely made the cut because it sounds rather pirate-y, and I love me a nice pirate-y word. Thinking about pirates makes me think about that weird "Arrrghhhh!" accent though. Where, exactly, did that come from? Most of these men, I'm assuming, were born on land, and therefore at least started out with some sort of regional dialect, whether it be British, Asian, or Swedish. Once they hit the open sea, however, they were all "Walk the plank" and "Shiver me timbers!" without a hint of where they came from. I find it baffling. Pirates are the only ones who have ever made up their own accent and to be honest, I'm kind of jealous. 

 

Pirates don't really strike me as the yarely type, though. In fact the entire reason I would want to become a pirate is so I could avoid having to move with any quickness or agility. People who want to escape, those are people who need quickness and agility. 

 

All you need when you're a pirate is a bottle of rum and a confused accent. 

malversation

malversation

\mal-vur-SAY-shun\ , noun;

1.Misconduct, corruption, or extortion in public office.

 

I like a word that stands the test of time. Whether you're reading this in 2011 or 2096 you will be able to apply this term to one person or another in public office. Lets not waste our energy on the current scandals going on, as there will be new malversations going on within the next few months, and what we think of as shocking now will seem like old hat in a short period of time.

I consider myself a centrist, because both sides of the political aisle are totally insane and I enjoy being in a place where I can make fun of either one of them. What I don't understand is why these elected officials can't keep their pants on during their short period of time in elected office. I can understand a little bribery, greed is a universal characteristic of man directly correlated to his amount of power, but just because you got 52% of the vote doesn't give you a mandate to walk around humping everything that isn't tied down (or things that are tied down, if you're in to that).

A plea to the future elected officials. Lower taxes, fix the potholes, and if you can't keep it in your pants at least keep it off the Internet. 

God Bless America.

Orison

Orison - A prayer

We all need a prayer on occasion. A job interview, getting behind the wheel of a car after three and a half beers, walking down the aisle. But in today's politically correct world one is met with derision if you flat out ask a person to speak with God on your behalf. It takes so long to hash out what you mean by "prayer" that the wedding is already over and the marriage is heading for disaster. Ask a group of people for a prayer before you go over Niagara Falls in a barrel and someone is bound to correct you with a

"Um. Excuse me. I'm sorry I can't pray for you. I mean I'm spiritual and everything, I'm just not religious."

This disagreement lends bravery to all the other agnostics in the crowd, and the last thing you hear before tumbling over the Niagara is a debate breaking out between Darwinists, Christians, and proponents of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. So if you are in a pinch and need some good energy just request an orison. It may go against your beliefs, but it will just be easier that way.

Lucubrate

LUCUBRATE - 1. To work, write, or study laboriously, especially at night. 2. To write learnedly.

At first I thought this word was "lubricate" and was mildly disgusted. Upon further lucubration I realized this word was all right after all. It's a word just like any other words, except it got mixed up with the wrong crowd, words like lubricate, which make some pretty inappropriate insinuations.

On the one hand you could lucubrate deep into the night, perhaps putting the final touches on the Next Great American Novel (or the Next Great Estonian Novel, if you happen to be writing for the citizens of Estonia), on the other hand if you're lubricating deep into the night chances are you aren't putting the final touches on anything, in fact anything you even try to touch you just slide right off it.

So if you've been lucubrating I'd like to shake you're hand. If you've been lubricating I will be happy to wave to you as I pass by.

pangram

pangram

\PAN-gruhm\ , noun;

1.A sentence, verse, etc., that includes all the letters of the alphabet.

 

There are people out there who are into all sorts of different things. Some people dress up like animals and go out in public, they're called "Furries" and I won't be going into some of the details of the things they do. You can Google it, but I don't recommend Googling it at work, if you understand my drift. There are people who are into Star Trek role playing games. I'm not judging, I'm just stating what these people are into (although let's face it, there are certain things that, when stated out loud or put into the written word, come pre-packaged with a hint of judgements that cannot be avoided due to the very nature of the activities). 

 

There are also people who are into pangrams, and I suppose I know which of the three I would prefer walking in on my children doing. I guess sports, girls, the Internet, video games and 957 television stations just aren't enough for some people. They need to sit around and write out sentences like "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." 

Well you know what? I'm not impressed.

aubade

aubade

\oh-BAHD\ , noun;

1.A song or poem greeting the dawn; also, a composition suggestive of morning.

 

I myself am not one for poetry, and even if I were I assure you I wouldn't waste the words or paper on something as irritating as the rising sun. I've come to understand there are "morning people" out there, although I've never met one seeing as how I am never awake during this period of time and if a person assures me they themselves are a morning person I eye with with great suspicion because honestly, what kind of person wakes up intentionally before the sun? To make matters even more annoying they aren't even waking up to drink or attend a party. It's usually to go "running" or just generally get an "early start to the day." 

I think they're lying. There is no way a person wakes up at 5 am to go running. They're just telling us this because they know we will never bother to check up on them.