Foofaraw

Foofaraw - excessive or flashy ornamentation.

Dating in the time of the caveman was difficult. You had to find a good solid wooden club, walk ten miles to another village, club a woman over the head, then walk 10 miles back without being caught by her tribe and murdered. Dating during the 1950's was challenging, but with a much lower chance of being speared by an arrow. Girls liked the guys with cars and guys liked the girls with no morals.

Dating in the new millennium is near impossible. There is too much competition, and I don't just mean competing with other guys. I mean there are girls who would prefer to be single and have the Internet and an iPhone rather than a boyfriend. My job as a soul mate has been outsourced by a computer company and gossip magazines. All I'm looking for is someone to love. A girl who will bring out my best qualities while ignoring the fact that I occasionally pee in the sink.

Here is a good tip for those of you out there looking for love. You have to dress in a way that catches the eye of potential suitors. Take a page out of the book of the peacock. This is the reason, when I go out, I cluck like a bird and stare at people with one eye.

If this doesn't work I take a different page out of the book of peacock and incorporate a little foofaraw in my wardrobe. This is done by wearing an earring, or a necklace. Something that can be used as a conversation piece. This can also be done by duct taping a road cone to the top of your head but remember, not all attention is good attention.