Sobriquet

Sobriquet - a nickname

A sobriquet is typically a term of endearment. When a girl adores me she might refer to me as “Chadley” or “Chadwicke” or “Fluffy McCuddlebuttons”. On occasion, though, nicknames can  take a more sinister turn. You see, dear reader, some people are not polite. They chew with their mouth open, kick the back of your seat in theaters, and generally want to hurt your feelings. They have the worst of intentions and would enjoy nothing more than to provide you with a less than flattering nickname. In order to avoid being the unhappy recipient of an unfortunate nickname certain precautions should be taken, particularly around other people. For example, when you buy a coffee at a hip bistro, be sure to use your mouth to drink the coffee, as opposed to removing the lid and dumping the coffee directly upon your face, lest you become known as “Coffee Face”. When you get dressed to go out in public, be sure to remove the pants from the hanger before putting them on, or people might start calling you Hanger Pants. Nobody wants to be known as Hanger Pants. If jogging is your hobby, be sure to stick to roads and sidewalks. DO NOT run off any cliffs. If you survive, you will always be known as “Cliff.” If you’re name is already Cliff then this does not apply to you, feel free to fall off a cliff if you want.