bailiwick

bailiwick

 \ BAY-luh-wik \  , noun;

1.A person's specific area of knowledge, authority, interest, skill, or work.

2.The office or district of a bailiff.

 

One can have a very interesting "specific" area of knowledge, even if that area of knowledge has no practical use. Sometimes the person doesn't even know he (or she) is proficient in said area of expertise. Some people excel at back handed compliments. "You were so handsome when you were young!" while other people are good at being flat out obnoxious.

Other people seem to be capable of being wrong about everything. I don't even know how that's possible. 

I recently spoke with a Park Ranger who knew quite a bit about how to catch a crocodile. 

"Why would you want to catch a crocodile?" I asked

"So it doesn't eat anybody."

"Oh! Right..."

He informed me that running a zig zag pattern was useless when escaping a crocodile, as a straight line was the fastest point from A to B. It only takes a few pounds of pressure to keep a crocodiles mouth closed, whereas if it bites you, it takes thousands of pounds of pressure to open it. The best way to catch one is to sneak up behind them (apparently, they don't spend much time looking over their shoulders, which is fitting, as a crocodile doesn't have any shoulders*) and cover their eyes. Apparently crocodiles just shut down when their eyes are covered. Which doesn't make much sense. If anyone ever sneaks up on you from behind and covers your eyes I suggest you fight back immediately. Shutting down is a good way to get robbed...or molested...or worse. They might play you Justin Beiber albums. 

 

Or maybe it wasn't crocodiles he was talking about at all. It could have been alligators, making all of this advice I've passed on to you bunk. I'm not really sure. Listening isn't my bailiwick. 

*Rimshot!