Dirigible

Dirigible - dir·i·gi·ble [dir-i-juh-buhl, dih-rij-uh-]

 

–noun

1. an airship.

–adjective

2. designed for or capable of being directed, controlled, or steered.

 

This word has been rolling around in my head for a few days now. I've been trying to think of my favorite dirigible, and I've come to a decision. I'm not trying to take anything away from jet airplanes and their ability to fly faster than the speed of sound and shoot missiles, or the jumbo jet that can carry 250 passengers from New York to Los Angeles without refueling, but ultimately they just don't do it for me. Not in the way that a blimp does it for me, at least. Blimps are amazing, and everyone should own one. Or maybe only I should own one. I can't decide. Instead of Facebook or Twitter I could get one of those giant programmable electronic signs for my status updates, so when I'm flying over the local stadium every one will understand that I prefer Oreo Cookies to Soft Batch, and I will have successfully wasted every one's time as well as promoted discussion about cookies.

 

Not only that, but it's pretty much impossible to die in a blimp crash. Even under the most dire circumstances the blimp gets a hole in it and somebody yells, "Oh my God! We're going to crash in like...20 minutes!" and then you just descend slowly and land with a soft thud on the grass.

 

Real Life Usage:

 

Me: Alright dude! I'm outta here!

Friend: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You've been drinking tonight buddy.

Me: What? I only had like...6 Zimas and a wine cooler.

Friend: Friends don't let friends drink and dirigible.

Me: Don't be such a square! I only have to float like 6 blocks.

Friend: Yeah but last time you drank and dirigibled you ended up in Scotland.

Me: Dude that wasn't my fault! My GPS system wasn't updated properly!