doughty

doughty DOW-tee \  , adjective;

1. Marked by fearless resolution; valiant; brave.

 

Men have a peculiar habit of fantasizing about heroics. This is why James Thurber's "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" reverberates so strongly and what made Don Quixote attack windmills. We relish the idea of saving the girl, getting in bar fights, being President, and generally saving the day.

 

I have had very few opportunities for heroics but would like to think, if given the chance, I would rise to the occasion. Unfortunately this has not been my experience.

 

5 years ago I had the chance of playing hero to a group of under privileged youths during a game of kick ball. I was doing volunteer work for the city government along with another fellow about my age whose competitive side dominated his personality rather strongly. He didn't realize, apparently, that when playing kick ball against a group of children, you let them win. We played on opposite teams, and as he watched the red ball bounce by home plate he called out "Bad pitch!" and retrieved the ball from the back stop for the allegedly incapable 8 year old pitcher.

 

The second roll was apparently more to his liking, and he threw such weight behind his right leg that one might believe he was trying out for punter of the New England Patriots. Fortunately for the children the ball was booted higher than 5 feet - had it been a line drive I'm sure it would have caught a first grader in the solar plexus and bruised a rib. It took the children 15 minutes to retrieve the ball from the creek as he rounded the bases with what I felt was uncalled for celebration.

 

I had planned on a light tap to the short stop and a trip to first base for my at-bat, but as the "other big kid" I felt I owed my team a comparable performance. Pardon me while I wag my tail, but I have the history of a rather accomplished soccer player, and was well versed in the art of kicking things. I pivoted my foot and crushed the ball into left field. Never has such beauty been seen in my form. The ball sailed high in the air and I began to take my trot. Unfortunately a bespectacled youth who couldn't see his own hand in front of his face chose his position wisely and didn't take 2 steps in order to field what was supposed to be my rising to the occasion. I was called out and we ended up losing the game by one run. I could tell the kids were disappointed in me, but praised my valiant effort regardless. The kid who caught the ball, however, was celebrated in his dug out.

 

Perhaps I am better suited for villainy, anyhow.

 

Real: Life Usage:

Dude: I am feeling doughty! Friend, besmirch my ladies name so that I might prove my love by punching you in the face!

Friend: Eh?

Dude: You call her an insatiable cow, do you! Oh you scandalous curd! I'll make you pay!